ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
