Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
