Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
