I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it glows. i had to have it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
