it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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