So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
