Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
