Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
