Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
