his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
