i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
