you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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