What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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