if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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