Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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