Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
