god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
