dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
