Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
