I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So many bounce houses so little time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
