They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
