Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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