No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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