I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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