im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
