i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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