DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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