it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
