don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
