i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
