it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
