the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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