A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
