dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
