When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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