Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dignity is for republicans.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
