When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Randomize
