Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
