I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
