Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
