You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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