that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
