Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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