The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
