We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
