Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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