You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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