oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
