CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
