No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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