for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
