About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize