That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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