nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
