When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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