but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
